Friday, 14 December 2007

Give the troops more drugs and less bullets

Today’s’ news-mongers are grabbing desperately onto the reports, which state that there are nearly a thousand soldiers sent home each year for Drugs related offences.

Can you imagine how tough it is for some of our boys and girls who are fighting on our behalf in the most frightening and dangerous places on earth? Some of these people are literally boys & girls, barely out of school and touting guns, which they are then required to shoot and kill other human beings with.

They have to follow orders to drop bombs, which they know have a fair chance of killing as many civilians as enemy soldiers. They are surviving in the harshest climactic conditions often for very long periods without rest. They go through all of this knowing their family are a million miles away fretting whether the next roadside bomb has their loved ones name on it!

I’m a grown man, with much life experience and my fair share of bad times. I am worldly wise and generally pretty tough. I would readily hit the hard stuff if I were put in their position. If I were stuck in such an inhospitable hellhole with bullets ricocheting off my tobacco tin, I would find the nearest dealer and beg him to line me up a moment of bliss.

Or… Why not drop several tons of Weed on either side of the enemy divides. A massive party breaks out and everyone gets stoned. Anyone who has ever smoked a joint will know that shooting someone is the last thing on your mind; your first priority would be getting to the biscuit jar.

On top of all this there is a special team of volunteer set up to diffuse all the Christmas Crackers, which are being sent from families to troops. I am not kidding now; Christmas Crackers are listed as explosives and have to be diffused before entering Iraq! Sat around their sand strewn and lonely Christmas dinner tables, each time a cracker is pulled they are greeted by a silence created by the stupidity of the bureaucrats who sent them there.

I have a solution. If our brave troops have to shout ‘Bang!’ When their Christmas Crackers are pulled. Then why not also diffuse all the bullets and bombs that enter Iraq. (I’m no expert, but I think they are also classed as explosives.)

Then, just like when we were boys, if you point your gun at someone and shout ‘Bang,’ the enemy have to lay down dead and they are out of the game. If they refuse to acknowledge that they have been shot, then your biggest soldier and their biggest soldier have a proper scrap and decide things that way. Slowly but surely the mess in Iraq and the other world war zones, would be settled without bloodshed. Less shooting and less bloodshed means less stress, less stress means less drugs.

I really don’t mean sound like I am belittling the work being done by men far, far braver and manlier than I will ever be even if I live to be 350 years old. I am just trying to grab your attention in order to highlight a situation, which shouldn’t be allowed to continue. I just get annoyed when brave selfless men and women on the front line are expected to be ‘Superhumans.’ On top of that, when they are caught with drugs, they are shipped off home in disgrace!

Lets sort this out. Support our bravest of countrymen and women with proper balanced understanding and tolerance, considering the enormity of the job we are asking them to do.

Then if the families want to send them a Christmas parcel, don’t forget to include the Rizzlers!

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