Thursday, 10 April 2008

Smokers are saving the world.

Smoking can actually improve your health, whilst benefitting all around you.

Being forced to smoke outside is also such an unexpected bonus for socialising and networking.

I am a cigar smoker. Holidays and Birthdays its big old Cubans... the rest of the time its little slim Cafe Cremes'.
I have tried to give up several times. If we were still allowed to smoke indoors then I would probably be smoke free by now because the social issues and peer pressure would have extinguished the habit long ago.

The fact that we have been banished like lepers is soooo cool.
Here's why;

1. I have a short attention span and I fidget. Having a regular excuse to walk out on a conversation helps in so many ways.
If the conversation is slow (read boring) it gives you time to re-group your thoughts and start afresh on a new tack.
I also get some exercise and fresh air hence calming my restless limbs.

2. I like meeting new people but I am very shy!
When with the rest of the outcasts, you meet people and have conversations that never otherwise have happened. I have made several new and very cool friends as a result.

3. Economic Benefits;
Old people find it the hardest to give up smoking.
Forcing them out into the cold, with an already weakened immune system and dodgy lungs, hastens their demise and thus reduces the strain on the health service and releases inheritances, houses, and jobs at B&Q onto the next grateful generation.

4. It will catch on;
Once everyone realises the fun us smokers are now having outside, (the flirting, the banter, the camaraderie and the release from meandering emptiness of a conversation cul-de-sac) then everyone will join in and start smoking outside. When this happens the Breweries will move the bar into the street to be closer to the customer. Then every night will be like a great big street party, the whole world will become friends and stress will be a thing of the past.

........and we all live happily ever after....
oh except that global warming thing... I have a solution to that, but it will keep for another day

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